Realize first that school is not only about classes for your child. It is a social institution where your child wants to feel she belongs. To you grades are paramount; to your child they may be third or even forth on the list. Don’t fight it. Work with it. Education is more than grades. At it’s best it shows children how to learn. Not only about academic subjects, but about their strengths and weaknesses, goals and dreams, how best to overcome difficulty and challenge.
The following are seven tips on helping your children do better in school.
1: Build Trust by Listening to Your Children:
Be receptive to what they are saying. Too often parents think they are listening but they’re really reframing what their children say through their own lens. They are offering a solution before really understanding the problem. You will find that if you remain quiet, receptive, the real problem does not come out until trust in the conversation is established.
For example: Your child says that he was offered drugs at school today. Don’t go into a tirade about how drugs are bad. Your child most likely knows that. Start by asking, “How did that make you feel?” Then stay quiet. You will discover the problem is deeper than drugs, maybe it’s a desire to be accepted, or worse, your child is being bullied into taking drugs.
Whatever the case is stay quiet until you fully understand the issue. Then ask your child if he would like your input. Yes, ask. This helps to build trust. By fully understanding the issue you can help your child find her or his own solutions.
2: Don’t Compare Your Child to Other Children:
Children learn at different rates. Your child is unique. If your child is moving at a slow rate, don’t blame or worry her or him about it. Your child has an untapped reserve of attributes and talents. Because he is not good at math, for example, does not mean he is stupid.
Let your children know that they are important and that you love them for what they are and that you will continue to love them no matter how they do in school.
Balance Challenge and Praise:
If your child is getting a 57% in math, challenge her to get 65% next time and move slowly. Every percentage point higher is a big win. Celebrate it with praise. Remember that even Einstein was considered slow at times and had many bumpy roads throughout school.
3: Encourage Reading Stories:
This, by far, is the greatest skill any child could have to help her succeed in life. The most powerful lessons we carry with us into adulthood do not come from math, Science, and English; they come from stories. Think about it. What do you remember better Algebra equations or the story “A Boy Who Cried Wolf”?
All cultures, planet wide, have used stories for thousands of years—written, pictorial, and acted out—as a means of transmitting important moral and cultural lessons between generations. Metaphorical prose promotes creative visualization and helps us all to see patterns and interrelationships between different areas of life. In short stories engage the mind.
4: Read With Your Children:
Children are delighted to have stories read to them. But don't now stop there. Ask your children leading questions after reading a section. Questions like, "What do you think will happen next? Why do you think so-and-so acted that way?" If your children ask questions during reading, wonderful! They are seeking to understand; they are engaged. Their comments show that they are making connections either within the story or with information they already know. This is the essence of learning.
5: Have Your Children Read to You:
This will show you how much your children know about phonetics. This is great practice for them to build confidence in a caring, nurturing environment. Helping them to pronounce words properly and create better flow of the prose will provide a greater understanding of the story or material. It will also help in all other subjects in school.
6: Support, Encourage, Be Positive:
Use positive reinforcing comments during the learning process. Words like: “Great job! Good Thinking! You should be proud of yourself. Incredible! Way to go! I can see you've put a lot of work into that. You really rose to that challenge. I really enjoy listening to you read. Just look at the progress you've made! It's fun to work with you. I love you.”
7: Be Patient:
Your children are going to make mistakes. Some things will come more quickly than others. It’s important that you don’t become angry or huffy. New learning often requires more than 15 repetitions before it is absorbed. Nothing hinders learning more than a tense atmosphere. If you find your self becoming impatient, take a break and do something fun together.
Yes, the above tips do take some time. But you will find that it is time well spent. Investing in your children this way will reward you with a closer relationship with your children and a life-time of fun memories.
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